What I've missed . . .

I've realized, though albeit for only a little over 24 hours, how much I have missed parish life. I do feel refreshed and energized being back at my assignment parish for this short period. I think that I miss working with the people the most. I guess this is why I find my Independent Study with the Discernment Group so refreshing: it gives me a chance to be out there helping people grow in their relationship with Christ.

It's been a busy few days . . . retreat / Advent Gathering at SPS, Bishop's Reception, parish life, outings with friends - and Christmas coming in a few days. Things are really hectic! But I enjoy it . . . I enjoy being able to be busy through the day only to collapse at night, exhausted, but not from boredom. I think that, at school, boredom can creep in because it's a lot of the same things day after day: Classes, prayer, meetings, homework . . . it can seem like a never-ending cycle. It's trying to find the extraordinary that sometimes makes things bearable. (I'm not saying that I don't like school. I don't like the tests and papers, but do enjoy learning and applying the material. I guess every student can relate to that on some level.)

Well, we do what we can. Let us rejoice! . . . The celebration of the Anniversary of the Incarnation of the Lord is upon us! Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus!


Enjoy the journey . . .

Couting the days to D-Day

Yep, you read it correctly . . . "D-Day". June 6th. Apparently, that will be the day (God-willing) that my classmate and I will be ordained to the Diaconate. This date is rather special to me to begin with. Besides being one of the biggest days in US military history, it's my dad's birthday, and it also was my maternal grandfather's birthday. And so, "D-Day" in a sense, was for "Dads' Day . . . of birth". And now "D-Day" will also mean for me "Deacon Day". 167 days left.

God-willing.

"Can You Picture That?" (a.k.a. iTunes - part 3)

Okay - it won't die . . . but I found some new questions, so I thought I would do this again. Third time's the charm, isn't it?

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
"Moving Forward" by Hoobastank

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"Ecce Sacerdos" by Anton Bruckner (from Music for the 1999 Papal Visit to St. Louis by Pope John Paul II) [This has me a little worried.]

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"If You Could See Her" from Cabaret: The New Broadway Cast Recording (1998)

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Rainbow Connection" from the Muppet Movie

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Minuet Militaire" by PDQ Bach

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"I Wanna Be a Producer" from The Producers Original Movie Soundtrack

7) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
"Stay, We Must Not Lose Our Senses" from The Pirates of Penzance Broadway Cast Recording

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"But Mister Adams" from 1776 - The Broadway Revival

9) WHAT IS 2+2?
"Can't Explain" by Cherry Monroe

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"How Can I Keep From Singing" by the Univeristy of Notre Dame Folk Choir

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"O Thou that Tellest Good Tidings to Zion" by Stevie Wonder & Take 6 (from Handel's Messiah: A Soulful Celebration)

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Hail Mary, Our Icon" by Scot Crandal & Delores Dufner, OSB

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"You'll Be Watching" by The Three Graces

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"The Intermission" from Monty Python's Spamalot

15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Our Burden is Heavy" by Iona Community

16) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"I Am Blessed" by Percy Gray, Jr. (from the Papal Visit CD) [I guess I should say at Ordination Party]

17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Oh Dry Thy Glistening Tear" from The Pirates of Penzance

18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Coventry Carol" arrangement by Richard Hillert, performed by the Schola Cantorum of Saint Peter's

19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Maybe This Time" from Cabaret

20) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Wonderful to Me" by Matt Maher

21) WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
"It Won't Let Us Leave" from Evil Dead: The Musical

22) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Oh! Men of Dark and Dismal Fate" from The Pirates of Penzance

23) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
"O Lord I Am Not Worthy" by Schola Cantorum of Saint Peter's

24) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
"Stonehenge: Revisited" by Scythian

25) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
"Amen, Amen, It Shall Be So" by Iona Community

26) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
"Overture: A Partial History of Black Music" by Quincy Jones (from Handel's Messiah: A Soulful Celebration)

27) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
"Cell Block Tango" from Chicago: Original Movie Soundtrack

28) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
"Final Reel" by Scythian

29) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
"We Got Us" by the Muppets

30) WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
"Cevenant Hymn (Wherever You Go)" by Gary Daigle, Rory Cooney & Theresa Donohoo

31) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
"Can You Picture That?" by the Muppets

I just move on . . .

It almost seems impossible to think that this semester is essentially over, with the exception of final exams. It seems to have flown by so fast, and a lot has happened this semester - most of it good. Turning my attention to my three finals and one final paper, I feel that I have grown this semester not only in my academic knowledge, but also in my ability to minister to people.

One of the biggest joys - and largest amount of energy and time spent - went to the Vocation Discernment Group I facilitated with some local college students. I looked forward to spending time with them, and have grown with them in their own discernment, that they have actually strengthened my discernment and vocation. They were (and are, since we'll be meeting next semester) my small parish, my faith community. Looking back on how nervous and anxious I was at the on-set, even though I was excited to have this opportunity, we have all grown together closer to Christ and to each other. Though I am happy to be at a break from this project, I am very much looking forward to next semester with the "crew".

I cannot believe that I'm now six months away from my diaconate ordination. Everyday, I seem to be more excited and, at the same time, more overwhelmed by the responsibility that this office will hold for me. Will I be able to be the servant Christ is calling me to be? Only with His grace will I know; only with His grace will I be able to carry out my duties. I've been reflecting upon the questions I'll be asked at the ordination, and while there are only six questions to answer, each one is filled with a lot of "meat to chew on". Each season, each experience is one that I look upon as my final one as a lay person . . . I know it sounds strange and maybe a little morbid, but as with any type of commitment, once you say "yes", everything changes. And I know that this can only be a change for the better . . . all the way around.

But for now, I have a paper to write . . . and a life to continue to live. (Not that I won't have a life in six months; it'll just be different.) Here I go . . . just movin' on.

Enjoy the journey . . .

iTunes - Part 2

I was told to do this again by a few friends, because they thought my answers were too genuine. (I guess they may have meant "fixed".) Here we go:


If someone says, “Are you okay?” you say?
”May God Show Us Kindness” – James Chepponis

How would you describe yourself?
“That Face” – The Producers Original Movie Soundtrack

How do you feel today?
”Willkommen” – Cabaret: The New Broadway Cast Recording (1998)

What is your life’s purpose?
”Prisoners of Love” – The Producers Original Movie Soundtrack

What is your motto?
"Nican Nopohua: In Italaquentzin Iuhquin Tonatiuh (Her Garments are Like the Sun)” – San Antonio Vocal Arts Ensamble

What do your friends think of you?
"Razzle Dazzle” – Chicago Original Movie Soundtrack

What do you think about very often?
"Hush! Hush! Not a Word” – The Pirates of Penzance Broadway Cast Recording

What is 2 + 2?
"We Rely on the Power of God” – Schola Cantorum of Saint Peter’s

What do you think of your best friend?
"All is Prepared” – The Pirates of Penzance Broadway Cast Recording

What is your life story?
"I Will Never Leave You” – David Haas

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"Send Down the Fire” – Marty Haugen (performed by the Incarnation of the Lord Parish Choir) [appropriate for my “Spiritual Pyromaniac” homily]

What will they play at your funeral?
”Psalm 34: Taste and See” – James Chepponis

What is your hobby/interest?
"Psalm 139: Wings of Dawn” – Gary Daigle, Rory Cooney, Theresa Donohoo

What is your biggest fear?
"I Move On” – Chicago Original Movie Soundtrack

What is your biggest secret?
"Coventry Litany of Reconciliation” – University of Notre Dame Folk Choir

What do you think of your friends?
"Be with Us Now” – David Haas

I think that some of them are too fitting, but whatever . . .

iTunes fun

I stole the following from Mike's Blog:

1. Put Your iTunes on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3.You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

If someone says, “Are you okay?” you say?
"Agnus Dei” - Taize

How would you describe yourself?
“It’s Time” – Evil Dead: The Musical

How do you feel today?
"Cry Out with Joy and Gladness” – Tony Alonso, Michael Mahler, Lori True

What is your life’s purpose?
”When I Survey the Wondrous Cross” – Schola Cantorum of Saint Peter’s

What is your motto?
"When Christ is Lifted from the Earth” – Schola Cantorum of Saint Peter’s

What do your friends think of you?
"I Want to Walk as a Child of the Light” – Saint Louis Archdiocesan Children’s Choir

What do you think about very often?
"Go Up to the Altar of God” – James Chepponis

What is 2 + 2?
"We Praise You” – David Haas

What do you think of your best friend?
"Happy Song” – Joshua Blakesly

What is your life story?
"Next 5 Minutes” – Steven Curtis Chapman

What do you want to be when you grow up?
"All Glory to God” – Matt Maher

What will they play at your funeral?
”Bulletproof and Bleeding” – Dog’s Eye View

What is your hobby/interest?
"Covenant Hymn” – Gary Daigle, Rory Cooney, Theresa Donohoo

What is your biggest fear?
"I Wish (All the Love in the World)” – Three Graces

What is your biggest secret?
"How Can We Stand Together?” – Iona Community / Wild Goose Worship

What do you think of your friends?
"Fresh as the Morning” - Tony Alonso, Michael Mahler, Lori True

Time is flying

I cannot believe how fast time has flown this semester. After this, I only have a year-and-a-half left here. In a little over six months, I'll be ordained to the Diaconate. Everything is moving so fast. But I'm enjoying myself. This year has gone a lot more smoothly than the previous two, and there are a number of factors to that reason. But I'm glad everything has turned out the way it has, and I just pray that God will continue to lead me to where he wants me to be. I also pray that I have the strength and the courage to endeavor whatever will come.

And as I continue to travel down these halls, I pray for the intercession of Mary, Our Lady of Sorrows, Saint Robert Bellarmine, and Blessed Francis Xavior Seelos for their guidance along my life here in the seminary.

Blue Clouds

Taking a break from the work of the day, I went outside to walk around a bit. When I stepped out onto the front porch of my residence hall, the wind was really blowing around, and the clouds were whipping around the sky. And then I saw . . .

. . . BLUE CLOUDS.

In the almost 32 years of my life, I have never seen blue clouds. It was an amazing sight. I have seen white clouds, black clouds, gray clouds, yellow clouds - but never blue. It was like the clouds were taking on the color of the sky and trying to blend in to it. The only thing I wish is that I had had my camera.

But, as is often the case, the best pictures are the ones you preserve in your memory.

In awe . . .

It's amazing to be leading a group that is so completely open to the Spirit and His workings.

This semester (and next, come to think of it), I'm leading a Vocation Discernment Group at my college alma mater to some of the Catholic students on campus. It's been a wonderful experience for me, and I believe for them as well. We've had some great discussions, and it's been a powerful experience.

I've noticed how God has been working through me with this group, and I'm completely in awe of how much I have opened up to the Spirit while leading this group. Though the group is small (only about 8 people), the young men and women who constitute the membership of the group are focused in their faith and not afraid to ask where God is asking them to be and what His will is for them. I see a lot of me in them at this particular point in their lives . . . as well as the particular place (that is, the specific college), since that is where I did a lot of my prayer and discernment before entering the seminary. (Yes, it was four years after I completed college, but I don't think that I would have eventually entered if I didn't have that experience.)

I know that I'm a better person for knowing these great folks, and I hope that I am helping them in their discernment. Two meetings left for the semester . . . and then we'll see what next semester will bring!

Welcome, Pope Benedict!

Pope Benedict XVI has landed in the US for his first apostolic visit to this fine land. Welcome!

It's going to be a hectic few days travelling to DC and then NY for the different events we're going to, but it will be worth it. And then to look forward to seeing him again this summer in Sydney, Australia . . . WOW!

Yeah, there will be the 4-5 hour bus ride to DC, and the 7 hour bus ride to NY . . . but that's where we're supposed to sleep, right?


Enjoy the journey . . .

Brief Update

It's been a busy time here . . . and it's going to become more busy.

Last Friday, we had our annual Bocce tournament. My team didn't win, and we didn't finish until 1:20 AM Saturday morning.

Saturday, we had our semesterly Pastoral Stewardship Conference. This conference's theme was "About Stewardship." Not too bad, just very early in the morning. After that, I headed down to Pittsburgh to play (the piano and organ) for Mass at my home parish. I came back and a few of us just hung around for the rest of the evening.

Sunday morning was a bit of a break . . . no seminary Mass. BUT I did have a paper to finish researching and to write . . . and that's what I did. I finally went to sleep at 10:30 . . .

. . .Monday night.

It was a long 38 hours to be up, and I tried to go to sleep a few times, but couldn't.

Next week will be fun . . . Matt Maher concert on Sunday, Knights of Columbus dinner on Monday, Popefest '08 Part I from Wednesday to Thursday, with Popefest '08 Part II being held from Friday to Saturday. Canon Law exam somtime that week, and normal class & liturgy schedule. Woo hoo!

If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.



Enjoy the journey . . .

Nouwen's Influence

I forgot to add in my first post another reason for me calling this blog "Can You Drink the Cup?" It's also named after one of my favorite books (same title) by Henri Nouwen. In the book, the reader journeys into the cup of life: how we hold the cup, lifting the cup, drinking from the cup, and some of the different types of cups our life can be: sorrow, joy, blessing.

I first read this book either towards the end of my college years or in the beginning of my years working in the parish. It taught me a wonderful lesson on approaching life. And now, after about six - eight years, I can go back and re-read the book with further reflection and gaining further insights.

I was first introduced to Nouwen in my college years by some friends of mine (and my parents) who were discussing his writings. After making my Cursillo weekend in 1997, one of those friends gave me a copy of his book, With Open Hands, which is a reflection about prayer and entering into prayer. Since that time, I've read a number of his books, not having completed the list of all of them - and each time being able to reflect deeper into my own life. His book, The Wounded Healer, which is a reflection on ministry in modern society, helped me in my life in my role as pastoral musician and youth minister. It also allowed me to discern further whether or not I could see myself entering the seminary and, God-willing, becoming a priest.

Well, you know the rest of the story . . . here I am . . . a little over two years until priesthood ordination.


Enjoy the journey . . .

Our Wounded Healer

And we celebrate some more!

Happy Feast Day to all the Benedictines out there!

It's been a crazy few days here with special Masses. Yesterday, the transferred Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord, we held our Institution to the Ministry of Lector. Five guys (including one of my diocesan brothers) received the ministry, and took a step closer to ordination. And though it was only a little over 13 months since I received the ministry, I was excited for these guys. Most of them I've known for two or more years, and so it was exciting to see them take this step towards the priesthood.

This afternoon, we attended a special Mass in the Basilica for the transferred Solemnity of the Passing of Saint Benedict. It was a good Mass . . . and even better for me since I didn't have to do anything for it.

But now I'm all solemnitied out. After everyday in the Easter Octave being a solemnity, and these two transferred celebrations (one which is local because of the Benedictine community), I'm quite happy to go to "regular" Easter weekdays for a bit.


But I'll celebrate a little . . . one month of classes left!

A strange discussion

A few of us were talking tonight about dreams, which led to a discussion about demons. Yeah, I know: What were you guys doing? What we came to realize is: 1) How much dreams have an impact on an individual (directly and indirectly), and 2) How alive the demonic powers are in our lives.

Dreams are powerful things, and I think that we can all relate to that . . . sometimes I'll have a dream in which a friend may do something awful to me. I'll know that I have dreamt it, and that, in real life, nothing has been done by the other to me. However, I'll react strangely to that friend, afraid that he / she might hurt me again like they did in the dream.

As for the demons: Being where I'm at, Satan doesn't want me here . . . in fact, he hates the fact that any of us are in the seminary. He tries to frighten us and discourage us so that we want to leave. If we do so, he's won the battle. What we need to remember in all of that is that Christ has aready won the war - the Lord has triumphed over anything that the devil can do to us. We only need to have faith in the power of Christ, and call out to him when things get dark in our lives.

In all of this, I was reminded of a reoccuring dream that I had when I was 5 / 6 years old - and then again in college when I was taking my synthesis course in dreams and nightmares: The setting is the Biblical: I'm hiding behind a pillar in the Praetorium where Jesus is being tried by Pilate. The Pharisees are there, and Jesus is bloody from the scourging, crowned with thorns and draped in the purple robe. At one point, I peak out from behind the pillar, and Jesus sees me. He becomes furious at me: I can see absolute anger in his eyes. He begins to chase me all around the palace, including some walkways that are outside. At one point, I trip and fall. I turn around and see Jesus bending over to pick me up, his hands soaked in blood and his eyes filled with rage . . . . and that is where I would wake up. Not the most pleasant dream to have when you're 5, but it's one that sticks with you.

Dreams can tell us things about ourselves . . . and some dreams are just fluff. Like anything, it's knowing when you can look at your dreams and hopefully pull something good out of them. Recently, all my dreams have been comedy-like, and rather confusing. I've been lucid in a majority of my dreams over the years, but some control me the following day.

In any case, dreams are dreams . . . and how we handle them is better then allowing them to handle us, to control us. Dreams can also be ways in which God communicates with us. (Look at Saint Joseph and a number of the prophets!) Hopefully, our good dreams will outnumber our nightmares in life.


Enjoy the journey . . .

A beginning . . .

Hello . . .

This blog will just be a way for me to "think out loud", if you will. Nothing fancy. More will come as time progresses.


The title of this blog comes from one of my favorite Gospel passages: Matthew 20.20-28, the story of James and John (and their mother) asking who will sit on the left and the right of Christ in the Kingdom. Jesus asks them, "Can you drink the cup that I will drink of?" They reply, "We can." Are we all not supposed to drink of the cup that Christ has drunk from? Can we accept the will of God in our lives?

I hope to reflect upon these thoughts, and some others, in the course of this blog, and allow myself room to grow. Hopefully, you will be able to join me in this.

Enjoy the journey . . .